Therapeutic (long read) for me...

Last year we lost our beloved cat of many, many years to a brain tumor. I was so devastated when my sweet Mimi girl got sick and in less then three days was gone. I had Mimi before I was married and she was that one last tie to my singleton days. Mimi was an amazing cat. She would follow us on walks and it didn't matter how long the walks lasted or where they took us. We really looked like the circus when we were out as a family. Me pushing Thomas in his pram and Pat walking Winston (our dog) on his leash and Mimi trotting right along next to us. It must have been a funny site to see because people would literally pull over their cars to watch us.

We discovered Mimi was sick after she returned from a multi-day hiatus. I remember thinking she had been gone too long, that time. Pat had reassured me that she was fine and she would come home soon. Living in Colorado at the time I was worried about her with the mnt. lions and bears that frequented our little neighborhood. Sure enough Pat was right and I opened the garage door one day to find Mimi. She didn't look to good though. I opened the garage door up further and when the light hit her she started convulsing. Not knowing what to do I ran to her and tried to hold her still. Not the smartest move on my part, since her paws were jerking wildly. I got several scratches but didn't think anything of it since I was so worried about my sweet cat.

Once her convulsion ended I loaded her into her carrier, and Thomas and I rushed her to the vet. I approached the counter and placed Mimi's carrier on the ground. The secretary was busy chatting with another women and my patients got the best of me. In my head I was screaming "come on all ready!!!" Thats when I burst into tears and finally got the attention of the women behind the desk. She asked me if I was ok, but I couldn't even talk. So she whisked us away and rushed the Vet into our room. They let Mimi out and watched her behavior. She was a little confused and seemed off balance. During her convulsion she had lost control of her bladder. So she looked and smelled like a real mess. The vet assured me that some cats in their older age become epileptic. So she gave us some little pills and instructed me to give them to her three times a day. To be on the safe side she ran blood tests to make sure she hadn't gotten into and chemicals. They also checked her for broken bones or any other physical trauma in case someone had ran over her or kicked her. Every thing came back normal so we left the vet thinking she would just live the rest of her days taking meds to control the seizures.

The pills helped for about twelve hours and then the seizures started up again. I took her back to the vet they told us we could take her to the emergency clinic and have a brain scan. That procedure would cost a few thousand dollars. So we went home to think about it. The next morning she started moaning and walking around very distressed. I grabbed her and put her into her carrier and started off to the vets once more. On the way to the vet she was hissing and moaning and crying the and flailing about inside her carrier. I was horrified. She sounded like a monster and I was afraid she might knock the door lose. I could just picture her shredding us to pieces in the car, with the way she was acting. I manged to get us there safely and got us all inside. The vet rushed her back and the whole office was quite, no one was talking, everyone was listening to my sweet Mimi screaming. The vet came out and told me another employee asked if she might have rabies. Oh I forgot to mention that she was foaming or bubbling at the mouth.

Well she was allowed to live her dream life outside with all the birds, rabbits and other wild life so it was fees-able that she had gotten rabies. The vet asked if any of us had scratches on our bodies and that if we did we would want to go to the hospital and be seen for rabies. All this while listening to my girl in the background. In fact we all had minor scratches and all of us had been comforting Mimi since she had gotten sick. I phoned Patrick at work and updated him on the situation. Within minutes he was there. But during those last minutes the vet asked me if I wanted to put Mimi to sleep or see if she would come out of it.

In hindsight I feel so bad that she suffered so much in those last days and especially in those last minutes. Knowing what I know now I wish I could have had her put down gently to ease the pain. But I did not. I selfishly held on to her thinking that she would work through this and be ok. I thought Mimi would be in our lives for a very long time. She passed away at almost the exact time my husband arrived. No one was with her and she was in such pain. Pat got there and grabbed us up and rushed us to the E.R. We made allowed the vet to make the arraignments to transport Mimi's head to the CDC to be screened for rabies.

The E.R. was a nightmare. All three of us were given rabies vaccinations. Thomas had little scratches on his fingers and received multiple shots around each scratch. I had scratches on my feet, toes, and fingers. All of which had to receive shots around them. Pat had no scratches but also was given the vaccine in legs and buttocks (the same for Thomas and me.)

We rushed home still not knowing if Mimi had rabies and scrubbed the house from floor to ceiling in case her saliva had touched anything. The next day we received a phone call from Colorado's CDC telling us that Mimi's brain tissue tested negative for rabies. We were relieved but still sick to our stomaches from all that had happened in under 48 hours.

It has taken me a full year to come to a point were I am ready to love another cat. I know this may sound silly to some people but I loved my cat like a family member. I have been plagued with extremely vivid dreams of Mimi over the past year. I think those have come from the way her life ended and how her body was "handled" in order to be tested for rabies. When I say vivid I mean VIVID and frightening. A full year has now passed and I am really ready for the very first time to start loving another cat. I will always have my awesome memories of Mimi girl but now we can add memories of a new family member...

This was meant to be a post to introduce the newest member of our family but turned into me spilling my thoughts about how we lost our darling Mimi. The original title was: Newest McKinnis. But I have changed it to: Therapeutic, since that seems more apropos. Sorry for the long depressing post...if you made it all the way through. Check out: Newest McKinnis to see and read more about our new little kitty!